Author: vbgold

So, all of a sudden I can’t leave the house without a scarf. About 20 years ago, when I visited Europe, scarves were the rage. I just can’t let them go! It doesn’t matter what the time of year, I gotta have me something around my neck, my head, or my body.  I told Mr. K. he gotta start wearing scarves too so we can be chic together – 20 years-after-they-were-the-trend, chic. I do see Senior guys I think are GQ with scarves, but I got another reason for wearing mine.  Yes, some of my scarves are pretty, from all over the world, but this season of my life, they cover something else – just a hint of what appears to be w r i n k l e s.  What?!!

I remember when my mother would look in the mirror and say, “I can’t believe my neck.” I would be like, “Amon, you look great.  I don’t see anything.”  Today, I’m hugging the mirror with eyes scrunching.  Oh yeah, they are there, those gentle folds calling for an iron. Scarves to the rescue! 

I know a woman that travels to India, and I have bought some beautiful scarves from her.  The only thing is that some of them are sari lengths.  You think that bothers me?  Humph, I ‘ll keep wrapping them babies around my neck till they do what I need them to do. Sorry, sari. I even took one of my Indian scarves off the chest in my hall ’cause it matched my outfit. You have seen my favorites on so many pictures, I was like, “I just can’t wear this in a picture again.”  Then, I’m like, “No picture today.”  I’m not giving up my scarf.

African headwraps are also on point for those days when my fro is frothed.  The key is to know how to wrap.  This is where I’m challenged.  In one dance performance, I had my headwrap tied in a bow.  The girls were like, “Vic…no.  This does not represent head wrapping.”  Well, at least it was better than when I had fabric around my waist as a skirt, and it came off during a performance…at a church!!  What?!!

Truth is, African fabric has the powerful energy of wrapping heads that need adornment and the healing of ancestors. Due to illnesses, it wraps some heads that no longer have hair.  Beautifully. Majestically.  When I get it right, I feel like a queen, and this fabric can claim my head, body, my heart.  

When I was in Memphis this past weekend, a woman who collects scarves from Israel stopped to compliment one of my faves and noted that her scarves remind her of every country they represent.  Being a global gal, I feel the same way, but I also know what they do for me.  ‘Wrap up wrinkles; it’s not the time for you yet.’

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Joy Juice

We do what we can to look attractive, but hopefully with clothes that make us exude what we feel inside.  We are beautiful, wrinkles and all. Even Cecily Tyson has a few. (So what if she’s in her 90s).

“It’s all good/God/Love” – Victorine

 

Featured image:  I had to add a little bling with Michael Eric Dyson and my scarf. Bam!

© 2020 Camp Goldston LLC – All Rights Reserved

 

 

Victorine

 

 

 

If left to my own, I would have a secretary…no, an assistant…no, a digital genie.  He would wield my phone and computer during working hours and my TV remotes at night.  He would remember User ID’s and passwords, navigate troubleshooting, dictate my every creative thought to page with perfect form, and at night, make my Firestick stream.  What?!!

I love writing, but ham mercy, as soon as I decided to do this blog, my computer put its dukes up and was like, “You got some dues to pay first. Delete your History, Cookies, and Cache, refresh my browser…No, Girl, you need a new charger.  You know how Apple chargers are.  Wait now, why do I have an Error Code?  Call Firefox and ask them…No? Then ask WordPress...OK, now we can get started. ” In the meantime, WordPress was on the other side of the ring. “Uh, I got a new writing tool for you, – Block Editor,  an “upgrade.”  Y’all, I was 3 hours trying to stack those blocks. I failed the grade.  I had to leave the ring and go back to the Classic Editor. “Genie!” Now my phone…

My wonderful Son-in-love talked me into moving away from iPhone to a Samsung Galaxy.  “Don’t be held hostage to Apple,” he said.  “You will love all the apps,” he said.  He was right.  I was in another galaxy.  I found out why they called them Smartphones; you have to be smart to operate them.  I been fooling with this phone for almost two years, and still don’t know what I’m doing.  My Sister-in-law had to give me a tutorial. Then she was in another galaxy fooling with me.   What?!!

It’s Saturday night in Memphis, where I am visiting.  The family and I are settled in for some TV, and so are a bazillion other viewers that want to watch the same new movies we are choosing.  That Firestick was streaming like a river gone wild.  We had to go back and watch The Little Rascals.  “Genie!”

My .genie is a wish, but my willingness to navigate devices is real and something I’m proud of.  Half the time I don’t know what I’m doing, but I am willing to take the time to learn; I have plenty of it…I hope.

Joy Juice

Can you imagine that some of us are embarking upon new undertakings?  Yes.  Every day is a new unfolding of our being.  We do whatever our hearts need to be fulfilled, to thrive, to stay ‘live.  This, our blessed/morning time.

“It’s all good/God/Love” – Victorine

© 2020 Camp Goldston LLC – All Rights Reserved

Victorine

 

Why does my daughter call me “TVicki?”  (Being the Taurus I am, I call her “Phonarama.”)  So I watch a little too much TV.  Mr. K. was like, ” Uhh..I think you watch a little more TV than I do.”  I’m like, “What else is there to do? ” Surely not read, or go out for a walk, or go volunteer, or actually go out to an actual theater to see a movie, I might miss something – one of “my shows.”  Mr. K does all those things; and, believe me, he ain’t missing a thing.  Y’all know I get out, but when I’m home, starting about 10AM during the week and 8:00AM during the weekend the TV is my backdrop.  I gotta keep up with er’thing: news, Views, styles, Mahers, Hall, balls What?!!

I get this earnestly.  We were one of the first TV families.  Years later, my folks had a TV in every room.  You didn’t have to worry about what you might miss in the kitchen.  You could cook to the TV.  I inherited TVness.  When the kids or Mr. K are not here, I am at home alone, but the TV is a window to the world, and it talks.

The truth is, as much as I talk about being Present, I will turn that video box on and do anything but watch it. It’s on right now!  I must say, sometimes it’s pretty sad.  I will watch “Project Runway.”  Let them kick the ‘wrong’ designer off the show.  I gotta call my friend who also watches the show and rant.  And now, we can go beyond the mundane contributions of regular viewing to Netflix, Prime, and Hulu.

I have seen that Abbey, them Handmaids, My Idris…I mean, Luther; I even been to the Ozarks. However, I do claim Oprah’s status by not having a TV in my bedroom. Why do I have my iPad, which has all premium networks? My grandsons figured that one out right away. They were like,  “Grammy, you watch TV on your iPad, don’t you?”  I had to admit,  “I do,” Yes, I’m doing the walk of shame – married to the TV.

Joy Juice

There’s nothing wrong with entertainment resources, but before engaging, we take a little time to talk and listen to the Higher Self.  The only commercial station is the mind chatter, but we can turn it off at and get back to our vital programming. Any day, any time, our real Source is waiting.

“It’s all good/God/Love.” – Victorine

© 2020 Camp Goldston LLC – All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Victorine

Just wrap me up with yellow tape and stand clear. I didn’t mean to do it! I just went out to my tiny garden to pick some rosemary and smelled my lavender, which deserved a close of the eyes for a “breathe and know” moment. The lavender began to smell like smoke. I run into the kitchen. Here’s my new wrought iron skillet on the stove burning with smoke everywhere. “Where’s my extinguisher…flour?”  No water! The side door is close enough. I grab a potholder, and out the door goes the pan. I was so heroic! Then, I totally freaked out.

I called my sistah friend, Lois. She told her husband, Billy, and he came over to make sure I had not burned my house down. There was smoke everywhere, but not enough to call my insurance company to get some new stuff like at my other house years ago. (Shut up, y’all). We opened every window and door, and before long, I was back in action. The next week, Billy sent over two extinguishers. Hmmm, ‘wonder where they are… I’m just kidding. I do know where one is. More importantly, why didn’t the smoke alarm go off? Could it be because I/you get so sick of it going off all the time till you move it to where it can’t beep when you light a candle? What?!!

So one Christmas night, the kids and I were standing in the kitchen talking and waiting for the food to finish cooking in the oven. All of a sudden, the front fiberglass on the front of the stove explodes. Thank goodness, it didn’t hit us. What happened was the guy who worked for me tightened the screws in my oven door, and the torque was too tight. She exploded. I bet you think we didn’t eat that food. Think again. What!!

I don’t mean to make light of this. (Lord, don’t mention light). I set timers every time I cook. I also take cues from my mom about looking down when I walk. At a family reunion, I had to rush to get into a photo. But there was a deck…and I had to hurry. There I was in front of all my deceased husband’s family, and Mr. K. sprawled, hands and face down on the deck. When everyone was worried, I pushed up with my hands and yelled, “Safe!” They tried not to laugh, but it didn’t work.  I was laughing too until that night. (I Hurt!)

Sometimes you gotta laugh, but not before you do all you can to stay safe. Set them alarms; signal your cooking; when ironing, don’t get distracted and end up with a big iron mark on your top. Who did that? Yellow tape, please.

Joy Juice

During this season, there are things beyond our control, but there are also everyday workings during which we can be aware and present. Our safety is worth more than a multi-task. We are worth our care; we are miraculous.

“All is good/God/Love” -Victorine

© 2020 Camp Goldston LLC – All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

 

 

Do I even have to tell you about ’em? But my question is how long do we have to have ’em. I am no longer menopausal. I am in the post-stage. So, why am I posting? Because I still have hot flashes that send me to Hades! I know I’m not alone. When I’m at a church program, all of a sudden I see a sea of programs fanning the heat, mine among them.

I am in the mirror readying for an event. Makeup perfect, I reach for my top, which is stylishly complicated. I’m pulling the cord that goes behind my back to come through the front to tie neatly so my waist looks it looks like I have a waist. I’m just a little flustered, not enough to worry about it. Then, before I can “Whew! “at managing my top, this surge sneaks up on me. I run to the bathroom and blot to outrun the “blot, blot, blot,” but too late; the fire is burning. and I gotta do an emergency redo. What?!!

TV watching is like…sweater on, sweater off, sweater on, sweater off. “Pass me a throw...Oh, I forgot, throws put me to sleep.” Why am I so chilly? I get so hot till my normal temperature feels like I engulfed ten freeze pops. And one more thing: Bed!

I make a great bed, on a platform foam cooling mattress, with alternative down comforter covered with a duvet, and high-count sheets. I snuggle in. Then, the heat starts. to rise…from the sheets (dirty minds…y’all ain’t that old, huh?). I wave a comforter off like a matador challenges a bull, “Ole!” Then, the chill hits and back under I go. This, for the last 25 years. What?!!

Remedies? I’ve tried them all: No caffeine, Black Cohosh, some kind of herbal yam, all to no avail. But I do like fans. They work. When I attended my nephew, Mannie’s wedding, his sister, Sophia gave me a fan to use ’cause it matched my hot pink silk caftan top. As the reception ended, she asked for the fan. As she reached for it, I almost chopped her hand off!

I must say my hot flashes are sporadic; they will stop for a while, but they always come back. Maybe they are with me to keep me alert. Some of y’all never had them, but I hope you understand when I take your napkin or whatever I can find and start fanning. I’m just sayin’.

 

 

 

 

Joy Juice

There are some things in our biological/genetic makeup that we cannot control. We do what we can to sustain our ‘magic,’ and we relax in the knowing that we are designed perfectly to be what we are, splendid creatures of God.

“Love has the final word”  – Rickie Byars

I thought if I told the truth about this entry, y’all wouldn’t read it. The truth? I’m so tired!! Today, I went to an early morning performance for Black History Month. ( BHM) I am part of The CORE Drummers, and I also had to do a bit of dancing. Y’all! You would’ve thought I danced the whole day. I came home, into my chair I went, and I was out for about an hour. What?!!

I must say that BHM keeps me pretty busy. I have two speaking engagements this week and more performances coming up. You would think folks gotta cram our history into just one month!!! Really?!! Our rich history needs to be a part of every American History textbook . You can’t tell it or celebrate it in a month. Besides, I’m tired!

Everyone who knows me understands that if they sit me down with a throw to cover me, I‘m gone. If folks visit me, they know what to expect; my eyes will close. Mr. K was like…”Do you ever finish a movie…” I’m like, (trying to pretend this is not my normal behavior), “I had to wake up really early today. I didn’t get much sleep.” NOT! I gotta get my rest. He’s used to it now. Also, I will happily nap in your home, at your video, and even at your party. Yes, I’m guilty. But let’s talk about my vibrancy.

I am known to lead a Soul Train line. There. That says it all. Seriously, I’m a culture vulture and will travel for dance, jazz, and art. I will comb an art exhibit like eating a chicken wing to the bone. I don’t play. I will travel for spirituality too, ceremonies and such, festivals too. Ooh, it’s fun exploring who we are through festivals that teach us about our origins and where we are going. Generally, I’m good for one, maybe two events a day, but as soon as the day is done, I’m out! I mean, I’m in for comfort and relaxation. Oh! One more cute story.

My “niece,” Dayna Latrice, threw a 70th Birthday party for her mom,, Pat Kline, and we had a ball. We came to Chicago from everywhere to honor Pat, even from Amsterdam. The party was scheduled to end at 10PM. Why was it that the same folks who used to leave home for parties at 10PM, left Pat’s party by 8:30PM?! What?!!

That’s OK. We may party earlier and take naps, but we are on the scene. Some more than others, but isn’t it grand to tell the world, “This is how we do it!” and be vibrant in our own way,

Joy Juice

Rest is a part of staying healthy. It is just as important to get enough rest as it is to affirm your zest through staying active. Find the time to replenish yourself. ‘Need a throw?

“Love has the final word” – Rickie Byars

© 2020 Camp Goldston LLC – All Rights Reserved

“Not so fast…As a young Chicago sister, you didn’t want to travel anywhere. Your friends would be like, “I’m going to (wherever), don’t you want to go?” And you would be like, “No. I’m fine.” You’d be thinking…” Hmmph, ‘nothing like Chicago; I don’t have to travel anywhere.” Now, ya’ll know that was me filled with fear. Then at 21, I went down South to college in Tuscaloosa, AL.

Yes, there was a culture shock of a Yankee moving to the South, and soon, they called me, “Slick Vick the Chicago Chick.” My roots were showing, but I was ready to be picked. All you had to say was, “Let’s go” and I was gone to Mississippi, Birmingham, Texas, Tennessee, Virginia, all over the South.

Once I got out of my way, I traveled and lived in many places. I have been fortunate enough to experience how folks live outside of 2nd City. I traveled quite a bit when Bob was living, but now, my girls and I stay on the move. (D.C. or bust, this year!) The kids and I try to get away once a year, and now that Mr. K. is on the scene, we travel too. Let me give ya’ll one scoop. When you travel abroad or even if you have a layover in a major local airport, ask for a wheelchair. It’s the only thing you gon’ get for free from the airline. So take advantage of it.

Last year, I traveled to Bangkok, Thailand. I got wheelchair service. When I hit ATL’s airport, I said a prayer of thanks. This couple about my age was standing on the shuttle train, and they looked at me, laughed, and said, “You know you are cheating“. I laughed too, as I was leaning back to get more comfortable in my chair. When I hit Seoul, Korea, the airport was fabulous, and we really had to travel to get to the terminal. When we made it there, I was in shock. There was a sea of wheelchair passengers, young and old!! It looked like a go-cart track! We were the majority of the flight! Folks had all kinds of fruit and foods at their ‘chairs.’ I was like…What?!!

Wheelchair view of the Seoul, Korea airport

Joy Juice

Getting away doesn’t mean traveling far. Just a neighboring city, town, or a trip to the country can do. Just get out of ‘your own backyard‘ from time-to-time. Eat a new cuisine. Give your senses some exercise. We are so blessed to have this time in our lives to be present. While/if we can, let’s take our souls on the road.

“Love has the final word” – Rickie Byars

© 2020 Camp Goldston LLC – All Rights Reserved

 

I love Facebook. Don’t judge. I know some of y’all have been tweeting and hitting up Instagram and that we don’t trust Zuckerberg, but I’m gon’ tell y’all something; Facebook has been my friend.

I have lived in Chicago, Tuscaloosa, Cleveland, St. Maarten, Virginia Beach, and now, Florence, AL. I have met incredible souls wherever I lived. Do you think I would have been able to connect with them without social media? Nope. Because of this tool, I could be nosy and find out your whereabouts and I could invite you back into my life. Not everybody, though. If I didn’t like you back then, I’m not looking for you now. Oooh, that’s so cold, you say. Why you think I called this blog Spicy… no filter. Because of Facebook, I could ask, “Where you been?” and find out.

Every time I visit Chicago, I have a list of friends from high school days I’m gon’ run into. Why? Facebook. I know about births, deaths, marriages, sickness, and health of friends from all over the world. Why? Facebook. And the news? You already know. Y’all! I created a magazine, and many of my contributors I have never met face-to-face. How? Facebook. Guess how I met Mr. K.? A connection through my activist group’s project on Facebook. Bam!

See? Y’all don’t know. Those of you who are blessed enough to live in cities where there are culture and stuff you like to do, don’t understand how folks like me can stay so attached to social media. Get over yourselves; Facebook allowed me to travel, party, and grow with you. And though I have felt isolated and lonely at times, like others in our season, I could plan my next connection with you. Yes, feel sorry for me…until you read my next post on traveling.

So, those of you that stay pretty glued to Facebook, don’t feel bad. Now, you do need to get off your behind and get some exercise. (Guess who I’m talking to?) Also, get out and do what you got to do. Join some clubs, go get folks to vote, work, volunteer, but if this is your way of hearing about and connecting with folks, I SEE YOU.

Joy Juice

Social Media. Oh how I wish I had you with me during my years of giving care to my loved ones. We can be grateful that we can find support in our lives and that we can reach out to others.. We reach each other, without being able to physically touch, and we know we are in step with beating hearts. WE SEE EACH OTHER.

“Love has the final word” – Ricki Byars

© 2020 Camp Goldston LLC – All Rights Reserved

 

While living in Chicago, my mother, aka, Queen Irene, aka, Amon conducted, (I substituted the word “conducted” for “did“), business the Old School way. If she had a bill to pay, down to the Money Order place she would go to personally deliver the check. If she had a problem, I would ask, “Amon, why don’t you call those people?” So one day she heeded my advice and called a company:

Place: Hello, this is (the company)…

Amon: May I…

Place: (Interrupting Amon) Please choose the department you wish to speak to…

Amon: I…

Place: …Press 1 for an agent.; Press 2 for the Customer Service Department; Press 3 for the candlestick maker; Press 4 for the garbage man; Press 5 for the dice you rolled …

Amon: But I don’t know…

Place: Press 8 to repeat the departments

Amon: “VICKIIIIIIIIII!!!!”

While taking the phone, I remember feeling so badly that she encountered that mess. She was in her 80s. I don’t know how elderly folks make it without help. Upon leaving her that visit, I told her she would have to take her time and be really patient with her phone calls. At 85 she moved to Bama to be close to me. She could use her personal checks down here, but she still walked her bills and I manned her calls.

What us gon’ do? We can’t escape it And now we got OUTSOURCING. I’ll just say this about outsourcing, *#x*#!!x… I’m 10 years younger than Amon was, but I’m already exasperated after most of my service calls. I do remember what I told Amon, and I try my best to be patient, and I must say, some companies have really worked with their agents to be able to better communicate. I don’t mind calling grocery stores, and after I spoke with the exuberantly courteous Zappos shoe clerk , I asked for a job!

Joy Juice

We have voice mail. We also have the fortune of having the “stuff” we have to call about. The phone clerks are only doing their job, and we have to remember we’re retired. We got time and we are too blessed to be What?!!!

“Love has the final word.” – Ricki Byars

© 2020 Camp Goldston LLC – All Rights Reserved

About 20 years ago, I was complaining to my deceased husband, Bob, about my hands hurting. “I have trouble gripping the steering wheel for long periods of driving.” This is what he said, “I know what it is.” “What?” I asked. He said, “Arthritis.” I thought I was gonna die!! He accused me of getting old! This was not supposed to happen to me. I was a drug rep that sold a prescription drug for arthritis for them, not for me!

Little did I know I would be challenged by my back, shoulders, and other conditions that would sit me down during intervals of active pain. I’ve had visits by all of the above, but I gotta share my experience with my knees.

I was visiting Chicago, which always meant “Let’s go!” I mean those women in my blog’s feature picture don’t play when it comes to affirming their vitality. They don’t surrender to surgery, cancer, or anything. So, when I visit, I gotta be ready to hang. One evening, we were going to view a wide collection of African art. I climbed into my friend’s SUV. When it was time to get out, I couldn’t; my knees had locked up and said, “Where you going?” They thawed for that event, only to lock up again when I was dancing at a 70’s party. Here it comes, y’all…What?!

An x-ray in Bama revealed I had no cartilage in my knees. My cartilage had been deteriorating, and using the press at my neighborhood gym, sealed the coffin.. Word to the wise, do not do anything at a gym without guidance from staff or a trainer. Where you at, Sheila Agnew? (Trainer)

I couldn’t walk without pain, and I definitely could not DANCE, which really tore me up. I was spiraling downward, when Mary Felchlin, a yoga teacher picked me up.. She came to my house daily to teach me a practice that would enable me to move. “Bend at the knees, only rubber soles, and no heavy lifting. No jumping. When they swell, you sit down and lift them up.” I adhered to her dictates, did chair yoga postures, then standing, and in two months I was walking (slowly) in Amsterdam and came home to join an African dance class. What?!

I’m still walking, (no running), dancing, (no jumping), and knock-on-wood have had no surgery. However, would somebody please tell me why I can be sitting at home, minding my own business when out of the blue, BAM, here comes some obscure pain or ailment. No diagnosis., just a pain in your behind. I know why., it’s this season of ours but I’m here and so are you. I’m grateful, and I ain’t taking nothing for granted.; I’m jammin’ on!!

Joy Juice

How in the world did I consult yoga? My daily meditations allowed me to be open to a different modality for healing. That awareness cannot be diminshed with daily practice of gratitude and stillness. We got this.

“Love has the final word” Rickie Byars

© 2020 Camp Goldston LLC – All Rights Reserved

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash