Is It Me?

So, the other day, I was browsing through my photos and ran into an old photo (featured) of my grandmother, Victorine Ellen Emmanuel. My initial encounter with this photo was when I was at the vulnerable age of 20. At that age, I was unsure about my future. I worked for a radio and TV producer, but although exciting, the job was dead-end, and I knew that school was mandatory. I lived on Chicago’s Northside in a studio apartment on North LaSalle, a walk away from Old Town and the recording studio where I worked. Cool, huh? Until it wasn’t. I felt pretty low as I pondered how to muster up funds and a pathway to higher education. Then, I saw the photo.

I was into old photos, so Mom gave me a box of vintage family pictures. As I leafed through them, I saw a seasoned photo of me; at least, I thought it was me. The woman looked just like me, but she was wearing clothes from another era, and she was so tiny, and I ain’t never been tiny. What?!

Somehow, this picture was transformative. Grandma Ellen always exuded a sense of dignity. Born in St. Martin, she spoke with a French accent, and she would read the libretto to operas she loved to attend. Her living room housed the bookcase with the classics I absorbed; her dining room was the classroom for people coming to learn French, and her kitchen was where we assembled every Sunday after church for prunes and toast. We loved to listen to her and her Creole friend, Mama Stu, speak French. She was lovely, with hair to her waist, worn in two balls or a large bun in the back. Grandma Ellen.

Grandma had transitioned when I discovered the picture, but I could hear/feel her encouraging me to go to college. She loved to study and was disappointed when I chose to work rather than go to school. Shortly after discovering the photo, I visited my parents, and my dad suggested I see Silas Purnell for guidance. He Founded a higher educational program, and it was tailor-made for me. I followed his instructions and ended up at Stillman College to start and Case Western Reserve University to finish. (I also met my husband at Stillman College).

I know Grandma’s influence was a significant part of my journey. She was a culture vulture like me, was as religious as I am spiritual, and I hope she is smiling her smile as she reads this. As a child, I hated my name, Victorine.(Visine, Listerine, etc.). Today, I am so proud to have been named after Grandma. And the picture? I will never be that tiny in stature, but I stand broadly on her shoulders.

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Joy Juice

Funny how our memories can take us to a place of overwhelming gratitude. The answer to my question, “Is it Me?” Yes! I am the granddaughter of this mighty woman, and her vigor flows through my soul. Thank God!

“It’s all good/love/God” – Victorine

© 2024 Vicki Goldston, All rights reserved.

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 Victorine, Bio

Author of  Be S.A.F.E., StillAware, Faithful, Excellent, now available on Kindle Amazon as an e-book.

“…the book title and its content are intended to be a whisper, reminding us that by connecting with our spiritual self, we can center through anything and that we are forever within the bubble of God’s protection.”

Don’t forget to check out Garden Spices Magazine, Celebrating our differences.