This page is for you! You are welcome to submit your thoughts, feelings, antics, prayers, or anything else that aligns with our mission. We are celebrating the art of living, loving, and laughing with age and grace here. Welcome – Victorine
November 11, 2025
The Adventure of Perimenopause
I wanted to share something that’s been on my mind, and honestly, a bit of an adventure lately. I’m talking about perimenopause, let me tell you, it’s been quite the experience.
One morning, I woke up in a sweat, feeling like I’d just escaped a pursuit, not from Pharaoh’s army, but from my own bed. My hair was a disaster, my clothes felt tight, and all I could whisper to my reflection was, “Ma’am… what in the menopause is this?”
I knew aging was inevitable. I was ready for a few gray hairs, some soft jazz, and the occasional creaky knee. But this? This feels less like aging and more like a full-blown revolution in my body. Nobody warned me that perimenopause would show up like an uninvited guest, consume all my peace of mind, and leave behind a trail of hot flashes.
My friends talk about embracing “queen years.” While I appreciate the idea, I’m often pacing at 2 AM, wondering if I’m hungry, hormonal, or about to spontaneously argue with the air. I even cried watching a paper towel commercial once, simply because I love a good paper towel.
My body is certainly changing. My memory has become a game of “did I come in here for my keys or to start a new life?” I text people and forget I texted, and I’ve argued with folks only to forget the reason, yet still refuse to let it go. My sex drive is a wild card—one day I’m Beyoncé, the next I’m in my “don’t breathe near me” era.
And my doctor has the nerve to say it’s all “normal.” There is nothing normal about waking up drenched, feeling like I’ve been baptized but only in my neck, back, and chest. So, I tried solutions: ginger tea, black cohosh, and maca root. I practically became an herbal apothecary, and I still feel like my body is staging a hostile takeover.
I wish I could talk to my mom or grandma about this, but they’re gone. My godmama is too, and my Big Sister is on a cruise, claiming she doesn’t remember any of this, but I’m pretty sure she’s lost her mind!! So now, I’m navigating this reality with just a heating pad and a Google search history that reads like a horror film: “night sweats and paranoia,” “why do I feel like punching someone and crying at the same time,” “how hot is hell,” and “please God help me.”
I feel like I’m grieving the woman I used to be while trying to befriend the one I’m becoming. I’m shapeshifting daily, yet still expected to go to work as if everything is perfectly fine. It’s not fine, but I’m here. Still moisturized, still showing up, and still trying to decipher if this is a divine feminine transformation or just my ovaries throwing a tantrum.
Either way, I’m laughing. I have to. Because if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry so hard I’ll float away on a river of hormonal regret. But hear me: this isn’t the end of me; this is my origin story. Menopause isn’t the villain; she’s just the spicy mentor sent to teach me boundaries, breathwork, and how to curse softly while I put on my satin bonnet.
So yes, I’m aging. But I’m doing it loud, hot, emotional, forgetful, and utterly fine. Now, pass me the fan and the dark chocolate, and mind your business. Because if I have to burn, I’m going up in flames like a phoenix in hoop earrings, with an attitude and a whole lot of prayer oil.
January, 29, 2020
When you get sick, you gotta pay!!! You gotta write till you get better! From the beautiful Francis A. Griffin-Brown, her first post. – VictorineAs Francis Recooperates
Victorine requested I log my time during this month, and I hesitated because I told her I hate homework.🤗
Anyway, she makes sense because today, after my therapist left, I watched the documentary ’In the Shadows of Motown.’ Oh my, it was so good! It showed how music can heal the mind and soul, and also how music brings together people of all races, religions, and even political folks. Marvin Gaye singing about the Vietnam War, ‘What’s Going On,’ ‘What Becomes of a Broken Heart,’ just great music.
The most important were the people/musicians behind the music, how and what they went through for those wonderful sounds. If you are a music lover like I am, this is a must-see documentary. If not for my present limitations,
I would have been up on the floor moving to the groove. I’m going to suggest our jazz/concert band director show this to our students.
Music is Love. Music is Life. Remember God, Love and Family First 💖 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶💖
-Francis A. Griffin
Spicy... 